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I admit it, that’s why I was so determined to have the summer holiday we’d booked, and was happy for her to take another week, because quite often in the past a problem has come up at work that has affected something we were planning to do – normally a treat or a family outing. I’m not minimising the amount of disruption and disappointment that Annabelle has had to put up with over the last few years, but it comes with the territory at my salary level.The deal as I see it is that they own me for a few years, and if I survive until I’m fifty, then we’re set up for life, a very comfortable retirement on an index-linked pension. If the job kills me, then my wife becomes a very wealthy widow. Annabelle had signed up to that, had reaped the benefits for several years – she wouldn’t be driving around in a nearly-new £45,000 Range Rover without my job – but now seemed to be concentrating on the drawbacks. I felt that a distance was growing between us; my working day was mostly finishing. A memo that listed all his faults and failures since the last granting of absolution. I just did not have any sexual interest in him anymore. Monique had taken that from me. Seeing him come at her single touch purged me of that leisure activity.That was what I lost. That was what he lost!The ordinary sex life, the intercourse twice a week, the blow and hand jobs that used to sustain us, even though his thoughts wandered back to his fetish. That had faded to black. His punishment was to be used and abused without the relief and safety of a home life.Now that that door was opened there were occasionally other men who tickled my fancy. They pleased me while my former husband stayed in the cage that he had made for his own room. He laid there hearing the sounds of lovemaking coming through the walls.I never once let him in.I allowed Craig to stay as long as the business became mine. He consented... That was the deal. I suppose that he thought that all the concessions that he made would.
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